Thursday, November 13, 2008

Old Kid On The Block

11/13: From cooking breakfast to creating a blog, most of the things we do in our day-to-day lives involve a process. In a process analysis essay, you write to explain how to do something or how something works. Pick anything that you do in your daily life and write an interesting process analysis of it.

Good Process Analysis:
• Either helps readers perform the steps themselves or helps them understand how something works
• Presents the essential steps in a process
• Explains steps in detail
• Presents steps in logical order (usually time order - chronological)


Life, like anything else, is a process. All things can be reduced to a series of actions that lead to equal and complimentary opposing reactions. Like The Fixx sang, "One thing leads to another". This is especially true in the matter of love and most true in matters of seduction. Dale Carnegie, author of the best selling advice tome "How To Win Friends and Influence People" has much to say relating to matters of the life. Many are equally applicable to matters of the bedroom. They say that fortune favors the bold and chance favors the prepared. But Love, or at the very least Lust...Lust requires a list. A list that lays out your every move, step by step.

Step 1:
Have lots of fun.
Enjoy yourself. Never forget that you and your partner are there for the primary purpose of pleasure. Mutual and personal. Otherwise there is no point whatsoever. This is the key to success in everything. Remember the words of Dale Carnegie who said "People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they're doing".

Step 2:
There's so much we can do.
Part of having fun is actually doing something stimulating. Fun rarely happens when you're home doing nothing. Be active. This doesn't necessarily mean that you must leave the house, but those activities are addressed in a later step. For now, concentrate on spending time in active pursuit with the partner of your choice in a public forum. Dinner, movies and dancing are all valid options, but more opened minded people may consider art openings and poetry readings. Just do something. Again, Carnegie delivers the authoritative opinion on the matter. He says, "Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."

Step 3:
It's just you and me.
Now comes the time for privacy as a couple. Though either of the above steps can and initially should be performed in a social environment, the time will inevitably come when separation must occur. This may be the most important step of all. Without privacy, there is little chance of things progressing any further. Remember, public displays of affection are for perverts and deviants. God fearing people keep their business to themselves. And if you partner isn't willing? Carnegie reminds us that "there is only one way...to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it." Be firm, but not forceful. Insist.

Step 4:
I can give you more.
This is the time for true seduction. Once you and your partner are alone together, the sales pitch begins. Emphasize you strong points. Hide your weaknesses. Pretend to be something you are not, if only for one night. Carnegie says "there are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, ans how we say it" Consider these points at shape yourself appropriately for the matter at hand. Be bright. Be funny. Be Smart. Be caring. Be attentive. Even if you're not.

Step 5:
Don't you know that the time has arrived.
Time for doing it. If you've followed steps 1 through 4, this last step should take care of itself. Even then, there are several Carnegie aphorisms that are quite applicable to the situation. This process as a whole can be accurately summed up when Carnegie says "Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. every time you conquer one, it makes you that much stronger. You do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves." Though most people would interpret that statement as a reference to foreplay, it can be applied to the to the list of seduction in general. Performance anxiety is assuaged with Carnegie's reminder that "fear doesn't exist anywhere except the mind," and that "most of us have more courage than we ever dreamed possible." If in the midst of the action, you feel your faculties begin to fail, he admonishes that "our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment." Relax. You'll do just fine.

All quotes from Dale Carnegie.
All steps by Maurice Starr.

1 comment:

Sinclair Fleetwood said...

Remember, public displays of affection are for perverts and deviants.


this made me laugh out loud in public. nice.